I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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