Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
