I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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