Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
