you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
