He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
