ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
