took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
