The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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