the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
