Someone shit on the floor
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
