Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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