My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
