Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
