guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
