I want to stick my p in your. b.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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