And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
