Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
