yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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