i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
