PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
only if we run a train.
done.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
