from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
