No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
