Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
