I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize