Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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