fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
