She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
