Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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