Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
