i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
