Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
