and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
