UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Houston, we have a blender
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize