is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
