Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
