this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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