This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize