Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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