Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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