The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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