Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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