Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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