I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
