Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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