just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
