we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
