I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
