dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
