just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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