I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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