If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
