oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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