apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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