i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
