did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize