all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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