i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
