Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
