I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
