I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
