***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
