We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think your dad took our porno
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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