I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
