omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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