He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
