I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
